This past month has left me thinking. About a lot of things. Specifically speaking, it's got me thinking about relationships; once bright potentials, now mere reminders of failures. I realized that I have a pattern. I am basically dating the same guy but he just looks different (sort of) each time.
I've also come to realize that inspite of all the versions of the same man that I've been with, there has been only one man. The One That Got Away. I'm still holding onto him. Maybe he is who I keep looking for in all of these other men. Spontaneous, funny, caring, considerate, awesome kissers, good listeners. It all makes perfect sense! I couldn't be with him because he had to go home, miles away from me. I never did see him again.
I tried to forget The One That Got Away by moving on to Eye Candy. He worked with me, and I noticed him a year after The One That Got Away went away. It was good with Eye Candy while it lasted. I wasn't too big on sleeping around within a few days of being together. Barring that, it had a great start. And then I got ignored and mistreated. Turns out, I wasn't the only one who thought he was Eye Candy. His other girlfriend did too!
His friend turned out to be The Knight In The Shining Armour. We got really close as friends. He was hilarious, didn't care too much for planning ahead, was always there to listen to me vent. We had the best times habing out together. Just us buddies. And then we realized that we couldn't hold up the platonic front anymore. So, the sex started. And so did the drifting apart/ alienation bit.
Now, I'm back to the point where I'm persistently thinking about The One That Got Away. Two years later, here I am. Still where he left me. Just a lot more burnt and in a dire need of his healing touch. Waiting for him to come back and put an end to this self-inflicting misery I keep putting myself through. Hoping he would. Soon...
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